Just a Note

Dear Eversource,

     Thank you for sending me your recent epistle comparing my gas usage last winter to ninety-one ( I loved your precision) houses similar to mine. You looked at square footage, locality, and one other measurement. According to your records at one extreme were efficient people with a score of 79 therms. The average of the other ninety dwellers—246 therms. My usage was 267.

     Some questions: did you select homes with open floor plans and high ceilings? Did you ascertain the average age of the occupants?

     Background: years ago I wore multiple layers and gloves in the house. I even purchased flannel lined indoor pants. My nose was always cold as were my ears.

     Now I am older and refuse to wear layers and layers of clothes. I, too, could have a score of 79 therms, and frozen fingers —toes that are close to frostbite status, but I refuse. 

     I do not live in an overheated house. I wear a sweater and warm indoor pants. But when it is frigid out I will have enough heat to hold a pencil.

     I will not go to bed early to escape the cold. And yes, my heat goes down down in the evening. It doesn’t turn on during the hours I’m asleep.

     Once in my younger days I showered in a bathroom that attested to my ability to withstand arctic temperatures——not anymore.

     If you insist on sending out these statistics please include age, weight, ceiling height and open or closed floor plans. What’s the flow of the space?

     And did I happen to see an advertisement printed right on your letter—for an energy efficient dishwasher. I own one. 

    To be polite I expect I should thank you for your concern. Next time please let me know who the neighbor is who only used 79 therms. I believe it’s the one who is a snowbird and misses much of the winter. They probably leave their thermostat just at the level that ensures that their pipes don”t freeze. 

    And next time don’t have an advertisement on the letter. Isn’t there any privacy left?

     Sincerely,

         267 therm