My Turn

Flannery O'Connor yearned to be a mystic, if not a mystic then a good writer. .

Once I ached with a desire to publish long literary novels. I gave up when I realized that I didn't enjoy reading ponderous novels that meandered for hundreds of pages.

Then I developed a fondness for poetry and imagined hard back poetry books lined up in an oak bookcase. My poems never made it beyond chap books and journals-- never hardback.

I hankered after publishing houses rather than self-publishing. I wanted to read glorious reviews in well read publications.

In time I settled for short stories in journals and poems in anthologies. Not top of the line publications-- mid-range types.

I've never wanted to be a mystic, or seer, or even a secular person seeped in the skills of prestidigitation.

God didn't ignore my wants, just channeled them. I taught. I read the writings of others. It's odd the way God's agenda doesn't always align with my plans.

But that doesn't mean that my plans need to be scrapped, just modified. I release into the universe my own machinations.

And I continue to write short pieces and poetry hoping that they form a cohesive pattern. When that happens I'll put it all together and remind God that it's my turn to do it my way-- but I'd like a little help.