Belonging
Belonging and boundaries share commonalities. Groups, define themselves and within those definitions are the limits of the group. No group can be all things to all people. If I join a photography club I might find someone who loves opera, but the meetings will not be spent comparing two different performances of Aida.
Some groups define themselves by who is accepted and who is left out-- who is unacceptable to the group. And if you choose to be a member you agree to their boundaries. Mensa is open to " those individuals who have attained a score within the upper two percent of the general population on an approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and approved."
Some groups' mantra includes hateful rhetoric-- skinheads, white supremacy groups...
We are born into some groups-- you're a tribal member. Your lineage, the family tree tells a story and you are part of the story. Find a long lost cousin, or discover an ancestor you never knew of and the boundaries of the clan spread to include a new member. Everyone is different, but all share in the group. They all belong. And you can't eradicate yourself from that group. You just don't go to the tree and saw down a twig. Besides who are you without a beginning?
A friend of mine found a cousin, not a first or second, but one of those twice removed cousins. The two of them discovered a great- great aunt, probably also twice removed, who was "sorely poor". When she died her family could not afford a stone. A small marker indicated where she was buried-- in Ireland. Not only did the two cousins purchase a " proper stone", but they went to Ireland to meet the descendants and pay their respects at her graveside.
And if you belong to two groups with different ways it may present problems. Venn diagrams are a wonderful visual. They graphically show areas of similarity-- those places where we all recognize our shared space.
Suppose you were brought up as a Christian and then became a Jew or if you were a Jew and then became a Christian or you were a Moslem, or Hindu or ... and chose to accept another path.
A friend of mine, brought up as a Christian, sought a different path. She became a Sufi. She traded in her baseball cap, jeans and sweatshirt for a head scarf and a long modest skirt.
And if one straddles between different paths until one is chosen the question of belonging pushes to the front.
Upon leaving one faith group and entering another faith group means leaving the surety of belonging to enter into a foreign land where everyone else knows the language.
It's like moving to a small town where people trace back their history for generations and when someone says, "Remember when John Trumble nearly set the town on fire with those firecrackers?" --you wonder how many years it will take to no longer be the newcomers.
I wonder if my Sufi friend keeps a baseball cap in a drawer or if she's liberated herself from needing the cap.
To release the past without eradicating it or denying it is really the way to walk the path.
Some groups define themselves by who is accepted and who is left out-- who is unacceptable to the group. And if you choose to be a member you agree to their boundaries. Mensa is open to " those individuals who have attained a score within the upper two percent of the general population on an approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and approved."
Some groups' mantra includes hateful rhetoric-- skinheads, white supremacy groups...
We are born into some groups-- you're a tribal member. Your lineage, the family tree tells a story and you are part of the story. Find a long lost cousin, or discover an ancestor you never knew of and the boundaries of the clan spread to include a new member. Everyone is different, but all share in the group. They all belong. And you can't eradicate yourself from that group. You just don't go to the tree and saw down a twig. Besides who are you without a beginning?
A friend of mine found a cousin, not a first or second, but one of those twice removed cousins. The two of them discovered a great- great aunt, probably also twice removed, who was "sorely poor". When she died her family could not afford a stone. A small marker indicated where she was buried-- in Ireland. Not only did the two cousins purchase a " proper stone", but they went to Ireland to meet the descendants and pay their respects at her graveside.
And if you belong to two groups with different ways it may present problems. Venn diagrams are a wonderful visual. They graphically show areas of similarity-- those places where we all recognize our shared space.
Suppose you were brought up as a Christian and then became a Jew or if you were a Jew and then became a Christian or you were a Moslem, or Hindu or ... and chose to accept another path.
A friend of mine, brought up as a Christian, sought a different path. She became a Sufi. She traded in her baseball cap, jeans and sweatshirt for a head scarf and a long modest skirt.
And if one straddles between different paths until one is chosen the question of belonging pushes to the front.
Upon leaving one faith group and entering another faith group means leaving the surety of belonging to enter into a foreign land where everyone else knows the language.
It's like moving to a small town where people trace back their history for generations and when someone says, "Remember when John Trumble nearly set the town on fire with those firecrackers?" --you wonder how many years it will take to no longer be the newcomers.
I wonder if my Sufi friend keeps a baseball cap in a drawer or if she's liberated herself from needing the cap.
To release the past without eradicating it or denying it is really the way to walk the path.
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