Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Waiting



Waiting: In the morning waiting for the newspaper to arrive— Waiting for repairs, a letter, a phone call, an answer, a test result. I’ve waited in an office, to find out what will happen, to see if there’s a change in direction, an epiphany. And sometimes waiting is easy—read a book, drink green tea, relax. Other times it is angst on ice. No control. Waiting for the storm to end or waiting for a call that doesn’t come, creates disquietude. Maybe if I play my cards differently, retreat, change my approach, try again, the ending will differ.

Two weeks ago I made a call and the robot voice on the other end said, “Your call will be answered in the order it was received.” What does that mean? What order? How many people are in front of you? I waited and waited and waited and then I hung up thinking that at some point the robot disconnected me—not intentionally. I dialed again and the same robot voice gave me the same message. Thirty minutes later I decided that I had never wanted to speak to anyone.

Actually if you wait long enough you forget what you wanted in the first place. A sense of euphoria permeates every pore, a release from the anxiety of waiting—for the moment.

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